RIVER OF LIGHTS

"RIVER OF LIGHTS." ALBUQUERQUE NM. THEY DO THIS EVERY YEAR FOR CHRISTMAS. ALMOST EVERY YEAR WE GO TO SEE THE RIVER OF LIGHTS. I REALLY ENJOY IT. THERE WAS NOT ALOT OF PEOPLE THIS TIME SO THAT WAS REALLY NICE.....

TIME WILL NOT MEND CODEPENDENCY

THE CODEPENDENT WILL NOT GET BETTER WITH TIME. IT WILL GET WORSE. HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT , WILL FADE FARTHER AWAY, UNLESS CIRCUMSTANCES IMPROVE. CAN IT BE FATAL? YES. CODEPENDENCY HAS NEVER BEEN THE CAUSE OF DEATH, ON A DEATH CERTIFICATE, BUT EXTREME CODEPENDENCY CAN LEAD TO
SEVERE DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE. ILLNESS. MANY OF CODEPENDENCY'S COMPULSIONS, ADDICTION'S, SUCH AS ALCOHOLISM, DRUG ABUSE, EATING DISORDERS ARE LIFE-THREATENING. THERE ARE STEPS TO TAKE THAT WILL HELP TO REVERSE MY DECENT INTO MISERY, BUT I MUST TAKE THEM TO HELP MYSELF GET FREE. I NEED TO FREE MYSELF FROM MY OWN PAST THAT CAUSES MY CODEPENDENCY. THERE ARE MANY FACES OF ABUSE, UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS,
SEXUAL MOLESTATION, PASSIVE ABUSE, WHEN ONE OR BOTH PARENTS ARE PREOCCUPIED THEY ARE NOT AVAILABLE TO THE CHILD EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY, ALCOHOLISM, SUBSTANCE ABUSE. DAMAGE!

GREAT BOOK: LOVE IS A CHOICE (RECOVERY FOR CODEPENDENT RELATIONSHIPS).

BY:DR ROBERT HEMFELT,DR FRANK MINIRTH, DR PAUL MEIER

THIS BOOK IS ABOUT RECOVERY FROM CODEPENDENCY, GOD'S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AS THE ANSWER TO THAT DEPENDENT. HE BRINGS FREEDOM, HEALING

PRESSURES-EXPECTATIONS - ROLES

PRESSURES-EXPECTATIONS-ROLES:I HAVE MOMENTS WHEN NONE OF THOSE CHOICES APPEAR APPEALING. I REALIZE THAT I RECEIVE MULTIPLE MESSAGES FROM DIFFERENT PLACES, FAMILY, FRIENDS ECT. SO MANY CHOICES, TO CHOOSE FROM.
BALANCING EVERYDAY RESPONSIBILITIES WITH FAMILY, MARRIAGE, PERSONAL
NEEDS, TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. IT SEEMS THERE ARE DAYS THAT JUST SEEM OVERWHELMING. FINDING THAT BALANCE, KNOWING THAT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY TIME MY ENERGY, I NEED TO MAKE WISE CHOICES. EVERYDAY I SEE THAT I 'M
BOMBARDED WITH MESSAGES ABOUT HOW TO BE THE "PERFECT" WOMEN LOOKS,
THINKS, DRESSES, AND ACTS, AND IF I LISTEN LONG ENOUGH. I 'LL FORGET WHAT
GOD HAS DECLARED, I WAS CAREFULLY AND PERFECTLY MADE IN EVERY WAY.
ENSLAVEMENT, LIVING IN BONDAGE IS NOT BALANCE, IT DOES NOT FULFILL MY
LIFE, IT UNDERMINES MY IDENTITY-OF WHO I WAS CREATED TO BE.

SEXIST ATTITUDES

IF EVERYTHING GOD CREATED IS GOOD AND TO BE RECEIVED, ACCEPTED, AND GIVES WELCOME WITH GRATITUDE, HOW MUCH MORE SHOULD "PEOPLE" BE
RECEIVED IN THIS MANNER? "MEN AND WOMEN ARE GOOD." IF SOMETHING IS GOD CREATED, THEN WE'RE CHARGED NOT TO SNEER AT IT OR THROW IT OUT. TO SNEER MEANS TO SCORN, MOCK, TURN YOUR NOSE UP AT IT, OR LAUGH AT. ALL THESE ACTIONS DEVALUE AN ITEM, PERSON, OR THEIR ROLE AND CONTRIBUTION. ADD THE WORD OUT, WHICH MEANS TO MAKE ABSENT,
AND BOTH GENDERS ALLOW IT IN THE NAME OF SUBMISSION. CONSEQUENTLY BOTH MEN AND WOMEN SUFFER EXTENSIVE LOSS OF VALUE. OBVIOUSLY, MEN RECEIVED HIGHER LEADERSHIP POSITIONS IN THE CHURCH MORE OFTEN THAN WOMEN ARE, BUT SOMETIMES THEY ARE CRIPPLED BY A LACK OF WOMEN'S INSIGHT. DO WE SEE MEN AS GOD SEES THEM-AS GOOD. OR DO WE SNEER AT THEIR BEHAVIOR? OUR ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY REGULARLY DISHONORS MEN AND
SEXUALIZES WOMEN. WE HAVE ALLOWED SEXIST ATTITUDES TO TAKE
US TO A PLACE WHERE WOMEN WHO FEEL DEVALUED RESENT MEN.

IF ANYONE WANTS TO PROVIDE LEADERSHIP IN THE CHURCH, GOOD! BUT THERE
ARE PRECONDITIONS ( 1TIMOTHY 3:1-2).
NOTICE THE WORD "ANYONE" AND THE NEW LIVING TRANSLATION SAYS "SOMEONE."

UNDERSTANDING THE ADDICTED PERSONALITY 4

THE CODEPENDENT PERSONALITY DOES NOT HAVE LIFE SKILLS, AND THEY DON'T FUNCTION WELL OUTSIDE THERE FAMILY SYSTEM.
THE CYCLE OF ENABLEMENT: WHY DO CODEPENDENT PERSONALITIES ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER? AS CODEPENDENTS, WE FEEL AFFIRMATION BY EXCESSIVELY HELPING, MANAGING AND FIXING THE PEOPLE THAT "NEED" US. SOMEHOW, WE BELIEVE OUR NEEDS WILL BE MEET THROUGH THIS PERSON AS WE ARE ABLE TO DISPLAY ACTS OF "KINDNESS" AND "SERVICE."
WE OFTEN BELIEVE WE CAN RESCUE A PERSON THROUGH EFFORTS TO LOVE HIM
OR HER. BECAUSE OUR NEED TO BE LOVED AND ACCEPTED IS SO DEEP, OUR ATTACHMENT TO THE ADDICTED PERSONALITY IS IN FACT AN ADDICTION IN AND OF ITSELF. WHAT WE OFTEN DON'T UNDERSTAND IS THAT IT STEMS FROM OUR OWN BROKENNESS, EVEN THOUGH IT DISPLAYS ITSELF AS GENUINE LOVE. THE ADDICTED PERSONALITY COULD NOT POSSIBLY OFFER THE CODEPENDENT LOVE IN RETURN
ANYMORE THAN THE CODEPENDENT CAN OFFER THE ADDICT AUTHENTIC LOVE.