THE CODEPENDENT PERSONALITY DOES NOT HAVE LIFE SKILLS, AND THEY DON'T FUNCTION WELL OUTSIDE THERE FAMILY SYSTEM.THE CYCLE OF ENABLEMENT: WHY DO CODEPENDENT PERSONALITIES ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER? AS CODEPENDENTS, WE FEEL AFFIRMATION BY EXCESSIVELY HELPING, MANAGING AND FIXING THE PEOPLE THAT "NEED" US. SOMEHOW, WE BELIEVE OUR NEEDS WILL BE MEET THROUGH THIS PERSON AS WE ARE ABLE TO DISPLAY ACTS OF "KINDNESS" AND "SERVICE."
WE OFTEN BELIEVE WE CAN RESCUE A PERSON THROUGH EFFORTS TO LOVE HIM
OR HER. BECAUSE OUR NEED TO BE LOVED AND ACCEPTED IS SO DEEP, OUR ATTACHMENT TO THE ADDICTED PERSONALITY IS IN FACT AN ADDICTION IN AND OF ITSELF. WHAT WE OFTEN DON'T UNDERSTAND IS THAT IT STEMS FROM OUR OWN BROKENNESS, EVEN THOUGH IT DISPLAYS ITSELF AS GENUINE LOVE. THE ADDICTED PERSONALITY COULD NOT POSSIBLY OFFER THE CODEPENDENT LOVE IN RETURN
ANYMORE THAN THE CODEPENDENT CAN OFFER THE ADDICT AUTHENTIC LOVE.
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